Divorce is a powerful threshold.
As we cross over from partnered to single, we leave a way of life and an identity behind—and often so much more.
I believe these losses give us an unprecedented opportunity. To know ourselves more authentically. To heal ourselves more deeply. To make mosaics of the broken pieces of our last lives.
Sometimes, when the security of circumstance collapses, we discover that hope, happiness and wholeness have been the ground beneath our feet all along.
This blog is my mosaic. I write it for you. I write it for me, for my co-parent and for my son. One story at a time, we release the past, embrace the moment and welcome the truth of who we are becoming.
Sage Cohen – author, instructor, coach, co-parent and friend
Frequently Asked Questions
Why is this blog called Radical Divorce?
Leonard Cohen sings, “There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.” I see divorce as an opportunity for radical illumination. What is “breaking” in our marriage is often a mirror of places that are “broken”or at least unsteady in ourselves. I believe that divorce can be a crucible of transformation. Divorce gets our attention. And it gives us an opportunity to keep our focus right there—on those places in us that need healing. I want to help people make the most of this opportunity.
Are you in a divorce process right now?
My divorce was finalized two years ago, but it remains an active process. For me, divorce while co-parenting is a daily practice of attuning my attitudes, practices and choices to the present and the future I intend to create. Every day, I am striving to unconditionally accept my co-parent and myself, and make our family system a smooth and integrated and delightful experience for all of us.
Why are these posts not in time sequence?
The issues that we move through in our divorce process are often not linear. They’re more like spirals. Certain themes or topics become our central orbits of challenge at certain times. And what has our attention from day to day fluctuates quite a bit. My goal here is to follow an organic flow that mirrors my process. Wherever you are in your own process, I hope each post offers something you can use—if not now, then eventually. If you’re interested in a particular topic or theme, you can always search the categories for the posts on that topic.
Do you think some families function better and more happily from separate households?
Yes. Through our divorce, my co-parent and I have co-created a family that communicates better, delights in each other’s company and collaborates more effectively for the greater good of all of us. And we know many other families like ours that have established their own, unique constellations of connection and love. This is not how we wanted our family to be. But we are grateful to have found the truest context for expressing our care for ourselves and each other.
Why do you feature interviews?
The ways we navigate divorce are as unique as the people going through it. I think there is great value in hearing from others who have negotiated their own, unique challenges and transformations along the way. I am striving to bring together a chorus of collective wisdom so that we may discover possibilities we hadn’t imagined—and understand that we are not alone.
Why do you answer a reader’s question every month?
By its nature, a blog is a monologue. And yet, what I am striving for here is a dialogue. When I hear from you about the issues you’re facing, we can be in conversation about them. And I like that.
Why is it important to move through divorce consciously?
Our tender hearts and the tender hearts of our children deserve nothing less than intentional divorce—navigated with the utmost of integrity. If we choose to look at heartbreak as an opportunity to heal, anything is possible.
Who is Radical Divorce for?
Radical Divorce is for any person seeking to transform the hurt of a relationship breakup into new opportunities for hope, healing and wholeness. If you are a parent, this blog may be even more relevant to you. Often I write as if my readers are women because it’s simpler that way, but you don’t have to be a mother, a woman, or in a legal divorce process to join us. Nothing I share on this blog is meant to replace therapy or individual counseling.
Does your co-parent know you are writing this blog?
Yes. My co-parent (who I call Pete here at Radical Divorce) has given me his blessing to share my stories about our marriage and our divorce—because he shares my belief in the healing possibilities of story. And he shares my hope that divorcing families can find their way toward deeper trust, friendship and happiness as we have. I think this is quite generous, and I am so grateful.
Where can I find more from Sage about Radical Divorce?
You can visit the Portfolio page for all press, publications, interviews, poems, performances and public speaking about Radical Divorce.