CEO of Pleasure

I met a man I liked. Sitting across the table from him, a surprising, pre-marital version of me surfaced in tact and ready for action. I was radiant, relaxed, turned on.

After our first date, we voted this man in as CEO of Pleasure. After our second date, we decided not to see each other again. This left an open position at the executive table. One that had only been invented a week earlier, but was suddenly of extreme importance.

Four years earlier, as a divorcing mother of a two-year-old, and then single parent to a pre-schooler, pleasure wasn’t critical to survival and therefore didn’t make it to the hierarchy of needs. If I slept, I was grateful. If I managed to cook a decent meal, I was euphoric. If my enormous list of household to-do’s was diminishing, this felt like hitting the jackpot.

But now I had a school-age child. He slept through the night often, and so did I. Much like my C-section scar, my divorce had quieted down and now blended in with the backdrop of my life. It was no longer shaking its fists and insisting at every crossroads, “This is where we divided.”

I am driven to do good work. To live responsibly. To parent well. To cultivate a self that is resourced to be of service. Somewhere along the way, I had locked down inside of all of this effort and forgotten that pleasure is my jet fuel. For the first time in many years, I was ready to face that exquisite vulnerability.

So I swore myself in as CEO of Pleasure. I promised myself that I would show up for adventure with the same kind of rigor that I show up for the work of running my business, my household and my family. And I gave thanks for this man who had set a place at my table for pleasure and shared a brief feast with me there.

If divorce had taught me anything, it’s that every person who doesn’t line up quite right with us awakens us to a need or a desire that we then have an opportunity to meet. twit-bird

As CEO of Pleasure, I declared the mission of my enterprise to be making the leap from surviving to thriving. I purchased my first, post-marital sheets. I threw away every sad pillow. I got a pedicure. Bought a pink and orange dress that feels like a second skin. I said to myself: YES, there is pleasure in the body. In the bed. In the world. Yes I said yes I will yes!

2 Comments on “CEO of Pleasure”

  1. “If divorce had taught me anything, it’s that every person who doesn’t line up quite right with us awakens us to a need or a desire that we then have an opportunity to meet.”

    Ah, yes. And that is such a gift.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *