Joli and I were poets in New York together in our early 20’s, and now we are middle-aged single moms who went through our divorces in parallel, each from our own coast. Once upon a time, we would talk about what Joli thought Derrida meant when he said such-and-such, or what I thought about why her boyfriend gave her headaches—the … Read More
You are Worthy of Gratitude, Deserving of Welcome
Remember when you met your child for the first time and marveled at the possibilities of who this new person would unfurl to become? You have the same opportunity right now, with yourself. Divorce is a death, and it is also a birth. The woman who brought you into your marriage has to give way to the woman who will … Read More
Rage is Transportation
It’s so easy to decide that the feelings we have when moving through a divorce process are “wrong.” It’s also natural to try to bottle up and manage those “wrong” feelings as we attempt to steer toward our end-goal emotions. I wanted so badly to accept and feel grateful for my co-parent—and myself. But I found the paradox to be … Read More
Until One Day
When the heart is not yet ready, you can send the body in first. Make it strong. Let it be soft. Give it sleep and baths and forest. Let your heart be a passenger in this strange chariot, this powerful vessel you are becoming. Your circuitry of joy will stir from its slumber in its own time. Until one day, … Read More
You Will Find Your Way
Whatever it is you fear you cannot do that needs doing, you will find a way to do. Maybe you will find someone else to help you do it. Or, perhaps you will find that it didn’t actually need doing after all. One way or another, you will climb or penetrate or blow up the impossible obstacle you are facing … Read More
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