I Still Have Everything You Gave Me

— Naomi Shihab Nye It is dusty on the edges It is slightly rotten. I guard it without thinking. I focus on it once a year when I shake it out in the wind. I do not ache. I would not trade.

Interview: Christi Krug

Christi Krug is one of my angels. A writer, teacher and friend of epic depth and grace, Christi’s potent insight about the human experience and the divine has given me hope and courage over the years. And seeing Christi thriving on the other side of her own divorce precipice has always been a beacon for me. I am so thrilled … Read More

Queen of Wands

Calling our beasts by their proper names means letting go of hope and its long distance ecstasies. Each rightful companion has her own ending place. Grief the graveyard of names. In the open space, exchange. I lost panther to gain leopard. My hair let go of its color and as I let go of my pain even my leopard started … Read More

You will be tested

I took three years to heal from my marriage. I did not date or hook up. One unexpected kiss arrived in the way that a tree falls through a roof. I repaired the roof and moved on. I dove deep into healing the patterns that created unhappiness in my marriage. It seemed like a matter of life and death for … Read More


We understand least what we hold closest. Cup contains, water resists. Thirst: a lineage of cups with no trust in the future. What wakes you up in the night mouth empty, sheets blank might be the faucet’s dumb neck arched with a brassy assurance that you have not yet learned to tap.  

How to eat an elephant

How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. Let’s  put aside the disgrace of actually eating an elephant and focus on the metaphoric value of this little aphorism. Many of us experience divorce as an “elephant in the room” that somehow takes over the whole house. Digesting the meaning and impact of this runaway elephant is not … Read More

Baby (Not) On Board

When Pete moved out, our son turned two. He was sleeping in a crib, speaking a few words, wearing diapers. Having become one with the baby monitor, I carried the sounds of him with me everywhere, listening for what he might want or need from the other side of sleep. He was the nerve center of my life and my … Read More

Petals, Snow, Volcanoes, Ash

Pete sends me a link to the photos of his afternoon with Teddy on the front lawn of Pittock Mansion. My son loves volcanoes and his father wanted to introduce him to the slumbering one in Mt. Saint Helens which features prominently from this pinnacle of visibility. In one photo, my son sits on a bench, arms outstretched to the … Read More

The Monkey Bars of Love

One friend ended her 12-year relationship and within months met the man of her dreams. Another had a man in the wings waiting to take center stage when her marriage ended. Most of the rest had affairs that catapulted them from marriage into someone else’s arms—at least temporarily. I came out of my marriage convinced that I was unlovable. I … Read More

The woman with the perfect life

…is standing outside her perfect home, framed in her perfect garden, with her perfectly pregnant belly perfectly spaced to arrive two years after her perfectly beautiful small son. She is standing over her compost bin, handmade by her perfect husband—like everything else around the house—looking perfect in her sweats and ponytail. As I walk by with my dog, I tell … Read More