Praise for stepmothers

My son spends half of his life under another roof with his father and a woman I did not choose. This woman rises earlier than she’d prefer to care for my son. She cooks meals for him, listens to him, plays with him, considers his preferences and needs and desires. She rides airplanes with him, holds him when he cries, advises him … Read More

Becoming an outlaw

Since he had words, my son has been trying to find the right names for the complicated constellation of adults in his life. For years, he called Taylor “Daddy’s husband” and could not be persuaded to call her what she was: Daddy’s girlfriend. With a good number of his aunts, uncles and grandparents divorced and reconfigured in relationship, Teddy still struggles with … Read More

Coming out as a blended family

I arrived first at the birthday party with Teddy. As he streaked off into a conga line of shrieking children, I entered the kitchen and was introduced around to friends and family. A half hour later during the clown performance, Pete and Taylor arrived. We stood together and chatted and ate off of each other’s plates throughout the two hour … Read More

Be Careful What You Wish For

When Pete started a new relationship a few months after moving out of our home, at first I wished for his relationship to fail. Why should his life skip right along without missing a beat when mine was entirely starved of music? Less than a year later, it was clear that Pete’s girlfriend Taylor had become an important and loving presence … Read More